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but! It is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY VERY FIRST BLOG POST! Wow. How crazy that both of these marvelous events are happening on the same day!
The sad thing is... I don't have a whole lot to blog about.
I go home in three weeks!!! I get to quit working in Hell... I mean at Lowe's in 2 1/2 weeks. As much as I want to go home and see my friends again, part of me is sad because I won't be seeing my brother for a while probably.
RJ comes home from his mission Tuesday and that is SUPER exciting! Unfortunately... I won't be home just quite yet. It will be weird having him home again! It's been two years! Goodness. Time flies yet drags at the same time. Funny how that works.
Hmm what else? I really can't wait for classes to start. The more I'm away from it, the more I know I want to be an editor. I miss learning about English and usage and the correct ways to do things. I really miss my usage homework. I learned SO MUCH doing it! I just really miss it.
I've had my testimony grow over little things a lot lately. Especially tithing. It's such a little thing but it's so huge too. I know that even though I'm not always perfect, the Lord knows where my heart is and helps me where I need it. I know it's not like some huge thing, but I really needed to get a haircut but I couldn't afford it... Yeah, I'm pathetic. I was just gonna wait until I had a little more money, and then I got a refund check in the mail that I didn't know I'd be getting. Turns out, it was the exact amount that I needed to get a haircut. Like I said, not some insane miracle, but it was enough to kinda impress upon me that Heavenly Father is watching over us, knows what we need and want, and will help us when the time is right. Looks like He thought I needed a haircut too ;]
It's hard to think that an entire year has gone by since my first post. I've done a way better job keeping track of this than I have my journal. I had a standard composition notebook that I decorated and made pretty in Young Women's in... January 2007. Yeah. I finally only have 3 pages left to fill. It's insane that it's taken me that long to finish it! I started when I was 15 and now I'm almost 20! Pathetic, I know. But I'm getting better at this kind of stuff. It's weird to read back just a year ago about what was going on in my life. Since last summer, I've become an adult. I mean, I still have a ways to go, but I'm a whole heck of a lot closer now. Last summer, I had an Associate's degree but I didn't really know what real college was like. I had had jobs but none of them were super consistent or rigid. I was still poor but I had no real financial responsibilities. I only had to worry about paying to see movies or go get food with my friends or pay for gas to drive to Orlando or something every blue moon. Now, I have had two pretty legit jobs. One of them, basically everyone in authority hated me for no real reason. I have to figure out how I'm going to pay for tuition, books, a real apartment, A CAR, and car insurance while being very active in Tall Club and staying on top of my school work. Not to mention keeping up with the other areas of my social life so that guys may possibly just maybe sorta kinda want to take me on dates. Finally. Sometimes thinking about how I am going to get through this school year makes me want to go to sleep and never wake up (not die, just sleep) so that I don't have to deal with it and stress over it. But then I think of all the fun times I have had and how much I've grown. I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't learned how to manage life's challenges last year. While this next year is going to be a lot harder, I, for the most part, have peace when I get past all the scary thoughts. I know that Heavenly Father knows I'm doing my best to be the best person I can be. He knows that I'm trying to mature while still using my talents and the personality traits He gave me the best I can. He's not going to give me anything I can't handle. I know there are going to be days when I feel like giving up and crawling into an abysmal hole, but that's all part of growing up. One day I'm going to be a wife and a mother and possibly have a career and it's not going to be easy. If I don't learn now how to handle all of life's challenges, how am I going to cope then? It just won't be possible.
I'm pretty sure the Brooke who began this blog a year ago has clearly undergone some major changes. A lot of me is still here, but a good part of me is gone and buried with my kid books and pink&green bedroom walls. The thing that I found funniest while reading my old posts was that I was so ready to get married and start that lifestyle then. After a few months at BYU, I was terrified of marriage. Funny, right? I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. I'm not ready for marriage yet. Maybe that's because I haven't found the right guy yet. I mean I definitely still wanna get married in the next few (couple) of years, but as of right now, I'm not ready for that responsibility. I haven't progressed quite enough to take on those eternal commitments. I know it'll happen at the right time, but I'm still a little scared of it. Last summer, I for sure wasn't.
Sorry that this post has been all over the place. That's kinda how my brain is lately. I guess that's how I've always been, it's just gotten worse...
I can't really think of anything else to say so I'm going to say goodbye to this last year. I'm sure as I move along throughout this next year I'll run into you frequently, but I suppose it's time to part ways for now. It's be a wonderful journey.
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