The Sacrament, Atonement, and Forgiveness.

There has been something on my mind a lot lately, and that is forgiveness.  Today I realized that even though it wasn't something I knelt and prayed about, it was a prayer I had in my heart and it was a prayer I had answered today.


For the most part, I forgive quickly.  But there is one case in my life that has been almost impossible for me to entirely get over.


Today, we not only heard a wonderful talk about forgiveness, but we heard about the Atonement and how to better appreciate the sacrament.  I hadn't really thought about the fact that until I could forgive, I could never fully accept the atonement into my own life.


One person has wronged me more than anyone I've ever known.  But I cause more harm to Christ than anyone could ever imagine doing to me.  It was for my sins (all of ours really, but that's not the point I'm making...) that my Savior bled from every pore.  I have brought this pain upon Him even with having an understanding of what He did for me.  I have knowingly sinned.  Not with intent to cause Him pain, but it has happened all the same.  He not only still took on my sins, but He felt every pain I've ever felt, including this one.


This thought came to me strongly as we were told the story of the two debtors, one whose debt was great and the other not so great.  The man with higher debt was forgiven but refused to forgive the man who owed him.


This was me.  I was the debtor that owed so much to my Lord yet refused to forgive the person who had wronged me.  I having been sitting and waiting for an apology when I didn't even deserve one because I was in the wrong so much more.


While it's still something I'm trying so hard to work on, I suddenly have such clearer thoughts as to the direction I need to move and so much more mercy in my soul.


I have truly been humbled and hope that I can show the mercy that my Savior shows me on a daily basis.  


This was a Sabbath day that has reminded me of my Father's love for me, as imperfect as I am, and that He is aware of me and my needs, even if I don't formally get down on my knees and tell Him.