This weekend I got the pleasure of watching General Conference, as I'm sure all of you did since I think the only people who read my blog are LDS. It was such a wonderful conference and I gained so many amazing insights.
After listening to the words of prophets and apostles, I can't help but be filled with optimism. I think that's why we're given them, too. Heavenly Father knows life is hard for us and that we would give up if we didn't have something to give our faith a boost to last us another 6 months until we can hear new words of wisdom all over again.
Anyways, the thing that I took the most out of was marriage. Maybe that's because they talked about it so much - or not at all according to Lauren. Maybe it seemed like so much to me because they said everything that's been weighing on me so heavily lately. I think a lot of why I've been feeling so alone is because... well... I am alone. I have friends and family and guy friends... But I don't have a boyfriend or even someone that I like really. As an LDS girl in college, that's really hard. Especially when I'm in all junior level classes where everyone is either married, engaged, or about to be engaged. It's rough when you try to do your part, you try to dress nice, fix your make-up, fix your hair, stand up straight (or at least try, Mom), and try are friendly to the people you meet, and nothing comes out of it. It makes you wonder why you even try.
Conference fixed all of that, though. Richard G. Scott, I think it was him at least, is the one that helped the most. He talked about how sometimes we're trying and nothing seems to be working and it seems that we're never going to get married or have kids, but if we have faith in the Lord, it will happen. He will make it happen for us when it's supposed to happen and we just have to keep doing our part and keep trying.
That is exactly what I needed to hear. I have such a testimony of Conference and that the Lord knows what we're struggling with and as long as we're doing what we should be doing, He will give us what we need to be okay and get by. We are never alone; He will always be there looking out for us and proving a way to accomplish all things - we just have to have the faith.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Different things on my mind:
1) I can't believe there are only 4 weeks of classes left... CRAZY! I am glad that I'm almost done with midterms though (just in time for finals!) but it kinda makes me sad. I've met so many awesome people here and I know that most likely, I won't see the majority of them again. Especially my guy friends. I'll be graduated by the time they're back from their missions...
2) Dear person who I consider a very good friend, please stop being so rude to me. You have been saying really mean things to me lately and I don't know what the deal is and I don't know if you just haven't noticed or something, but you've been really really hurtful lately. I'm probably a coward for talking about it on here instead of just talking to you, but I don't want to make things worse. All I know is if you're reading this and thinking "Is this about me?" maybe that tells you something... even if it's not you. I think we all, including myself, need to make a better effort at being kind and not saying things when we know that certain things hurt people's feelings.
3) I really want to go to Italy. A non-profit organization in Italy (ACLE) is hiring people to teach English to children in the summer and I think it would such an amazing opportunity. They pay for food, accommodations, and wages, you just have to pay for your plane ticket. And passport. I really want to do it but I don't have the $1700 needed for everything on my part. Part of me is talking myself out of it because I don't want to get my hopes up just to get let down, but the other part of me knows that if I don't take this trip now, I never will and I'll probably always regret it. I don't know what to do though. It sucks.
4) If I don't work in Italy, I HAVE to get a job over summer. Only issue is I can't handle a filing job or I'll lose my mind. Especially if I end up filing after I had the chance of going to Italy to work.
5) This weekend, I'm going to VEGAS! It is going to be so wonderful to get out of Provo and just relax for a little. I have been so stressed this past week or two and I think if I don't do something, I am going to have a mental breakdown. That's all I know.
6) I don't know what's on my mind. I have so many happy thoughts filling it but then so many sad thoughts crowding in at the same time. I suppose it's a good balance, I just wish I could remain in only the happy thoughts and find a way to solve whatever is causing the not so happy ones. It's rough. I know everything will get figured out eventually, it's just a lot harder than I'd like to get to that point.
7) I hate the Italian version of Pinocchio.
2) Dear person who I consider a very good friend, please stop being so rude to me. You have been saying really mean things to me lately and I don't know what the deal is and I don't know if you just haven't noticed or something, but you've been really really hurtful lately. I'm probably a coward for talking about it on here instead of just talking to you, but I don't want to make things worse. All I know is if you're reading this and thinking "Is this about me?" maybe that tells you something... even if it's not you. I think we all, including myself, need to make a better effort at being kind and not saying things when we know that certain things hurt people's feelings.
3) I really want to go to Italy. A non-profit organization in Italy (ACLE) is hiring people to teach English to children in the summer and I think it would such an amazing opportunity. They pay for food, accommodations, and wages, you just have to pay for your plane ticket. And passport. I really want to do it but I don't have the $1700 needed for everything on my part. Part of me is talking myself out of it because I don't want to get my hopes up just to get let down, but the other part of me knows that if I don't take this trip now, I never will and I'll probably always regret it. I don't know what to do though. It sucks.
4) If I don't work in Italy, I HAVE to get a job over summer. Only issue is I can't handle a filing job or I'll lose my mind. Especially if I end up filing after I had the chance of going to Italy to work.
5) This weekend, I'm going to VEGAS! It is going to be so wonderful to get out of Provo and just relax for a little. I have been so stressed this past week or two and I think if I don't do something, I am going to have a mental breakdown. That's all I know.
6) I don't know what's on my mind. I have so many happy thoughts filling it but then so many sad thoughts crowding in at the same time. I suppose it's a good balance, I just wish I could remain in only the happy thoughts and find a way to solve whatever is causing the not so happy ones. It's rough. I know everything will get figured out eventually, it's just a lot harder than I'd like to get to that point.
7) I hate the Italian version of Pinocchio.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Special Experiences
I had a really special experience tonight.
The specifics won't be posted on here because it's too special to me to share over a blog, but tonight I was given an incredible boost to my testimony.
The funny part is that this didn't occur while listening to L. Tom Perry. I was hit with the Spirit while the choir was singing Sweet Hour of Prayer. I have an even stronger knowledge now that if we are where we need to be and doing what we should be, if we are having questions of how to help someone or how to fix a situation, Heavenly Father will hear our prayers and make our burdens light. He may not take away our challenges, but if we pray fervently, He will make it easier for us to make it through them.
The Lord may not always calm the storm; sometimes He allows the storm to rage and calms us instead.
The specifics won't be posted on here because it's too special to me to share over a blog, but tonight I was given an incredible boost to my testimony.
The funny part is that this didn't occur while listening to L. Tom Perry. I was hit with the Spirit while the choir was singing Sweet Hour of Prayer. I have an even stronger knowledge now that if we are where we need to be and doing what we should be, if we are having questions of how to help someone or how to fix a situation, Heavenly Father will hear our prayers and make our burdens light. He may not take away our challenges, but if we pray fervently, He will make it easier for us to make it through them.
The Lord may not always calm the storm; sometimes He allows the storm to rage and calms us instead.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
6 weeks
until classes are done and we take our finals.
and pack up everything.
and say goodbye to basically all of my remaining guy friends for at least two years.
and leave Wyview forever.
and go to Tennessee/Kentucky for a week.
and then go home for summer.
where I won't have any of my school friends.
and will have to get a job.
and die in the Florida heat.
Where has the semester gone?
and pack up everything.
and say goodbye to basically all of my remaining guy friends for at least two years.
and leave Wyview forever.
and go to Tennessee/Kentucky for a week.
and then go home for summer.
where I won't have any of my school friends.
and will have to get a job.
and die in the Florida heat.
Where has the semester gone?
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Finally.
I know I've said it before, but finally finally finally finally finally we have seriously found a place to live. There have been so many places where we aaaalmost found the perfect place, but there was always something that messed it up and made us back out. Finally, we have found a place, signed the contracts and (mostly) put down the deposit. It is such a relief to know where I'll be living next year and to have one less thing to stress about.
The place we finally decided on is Heather Cove. It's $315 a month plus utilities, which is a little pricey, but it's two bedrooms, two bathrooms, washer/dryer, dish washer, and tons of space!
The place we finally decided on is Heather Cove. It's $315 a month plus utilities, which is a little pricey, but it's two bedrooms, two bathrooms, washer/dryer, dish washer, and tons of space!
The rest of the pics don't do it justice so you'll just have to wait on pins and needles until we move in and I can take pics for myself without looking creepy...
So yeah. This problem is FINALLY solved! Now it's just surviving the rest of the semester...
Monday, February 7, 2011
[Insert creative title]
Gosh. I am just so confused lately. Not about the important important stuff, but the semi-important stuff.
I know what I want to major and minor in.
I know what I want to do with my life.
I know where I'm going to live.
I know what my beliefs are.
I know who my friends are.
But I think I've forgotten who I am. I don't know. I don't know what I'm thinking. I've been in a weird mood lately and I don't think I'm who I want to be. I feel like I have been mean and kinda blasé about everything. I feel lackluster. I don't even know if someone can feel lackluster, but I feel it.
Boys kinda make the situation worse. I know who I don't like, but I don't know who I do like. I don't know if I'm so confused because I actually don't like anyone and I'm just too chicken to deal with the fact that I'm completely alone in those regards, that I don't even have someone to pine after, or if I'm confused because there is someone I should like but everything is just too complicated to like them.
Can someone just live my life for a little and get it all figured out? I'm usually pretty good at figuring out other people's issues but for some reason, I just can't figure out mine.
Any takers?
I know what I want to major and minor in.
I know what I want to do with my life.
I know where I'm going to live.
I know what my beliefs are.
I know who my friends are.
But I think I've forgotten who I am. I don't know. I don't know what I'm thinking. I've been in a weird mood lately and I don't think I'm who I want to be. I feel like I have been mean and kinda blasé about everything. I feel lackluster. I don't even know if someone can feel lackluster, but I feel it.
Boys kinda make the situation worse. I know who I don't like, but I don't know who I do like. I don't know if I'm so confused because I actually don't like anyone and I'm just too chicken to deal with the fact that I'm completely alone in those regards, that I don't even have someone to pine after, or if I'm confused because there is someone I should like but everything is just too complicated to like them.
Can someone just live my life for a little and get it all figured out? I'm usually pretty good at figuring out other people's issues but for some reason, I just can't figure out mine.
Any takers?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
I don't even know.
Since this semester began, I think I've lost any and all creativity I once had.
I have become a boring person.
An old lady.
An I-don't-even-know-what.
This is not good. I am much to young to be this boring already. Oh well...
Anyways!
We finally found a place to live! It's a little house 2 1/2 blocks south of campus right across from Liberty Square! There are 2 rooms (four beds) upstairs - on the main level - and 3 bedrooms downstairs for 6 girls. We got the main floor! Woohoo! We have a nice sized bathroom and two decent rooms. Lauren and I don't have a closet in our room but we have a closet in the hallway and we'll get some storage stuff from Ikea to make that part better. Then we have a cute little kitchen and downstairs will be a brand new washer and dryer that all of us will share. The rent is a good price and the landlords seem friendly! I am so excited to live there and be in a home rather than an apartment!
Besides that, I have no idea what to talk about! School seems to be going better than last semester - so far.
I have three tests next week so I'm probably going to want to die a bit, but hopefully everything will go alright! Or, as I learned is the only appropriate form of that, "all right".
The end!
I have become a boring person.
An old lady.
An I-don't-even-know-what.
This is not good. I am much to young to be this boring already. Oh well...
Anyways!
We finally found a place to live! It's a little house 2 1/2 blocks south of campus right across from Liberty Square! There are 2 rooms (four beds) upstairs - on the main level - and 3 bedrooms downstairs for 6 girls. We got the main floor! Woohoo! We have a nice sized bathroom and two decent rooms. Lauren and I don't have a closet in our room but we have a closet in the hallway and we'll get some storage stuff from Ikea to make that part better. Then we have a cute little kitchen and downstairs will be a brand new washer and dryer that all of us will share. The rent is a good price and the landlords seem friendly! I am so excited to live there and be in a home rather than an apartment!
Besides that, I have no idea what to talk about! School seems to be going better than last semester - so far.
I have three tests next week so I'm probably going to want to die a bit, but hopefully everything will go alright! Or, as I learned is the only appropriate form of that, "all right".
The end!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
