Day 30-A Picture (or three...)

My three favorite "Castles" :]

Day 29-Wishes

A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you're fast asleep.

In dreams you lose your heartaches,

Whatever you wish for, you keep.

Have faith in your dreams and someday

Your rainbow will come smiling through.

No matter how your heart is grieving,

If you keep on believing,

the dream that you wish will come true.

If that was completely true, I have some weeeeird wishes.  But really.  

When it comes to the wishes that are made at 11:11, 12:34, 1:23, 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, etc, and shooting stars (or meteor showers... Same thing ;]) I always make the same wish.  

Wanna know what it is?

Too bad.  Because if I tell you it won't come true!  Let's just say in concerns a certain someone (not myself) and a certain something happening before a certain time (I always get specific so I don't have a "I didn't mean 5 years from now" moment).  

That's all you're getting out of me!

As for real wishes, though, I have a few I can share.

I wish there would be a guy who likes me enough (or has courage enough, I guess) to not only ask me on a date, but ask me on a second date.  I've never been asked on a second date (pitiful, I know).

I wish I had the abilities and willpower enough to actually study.  Since I never had to in high school, I don't really know how to too well now.

I wish I could be the example I need to be better and more often.  I am terrified that I might do something, anything, that sets a bad example for myself, my family, or the Church/Gospel.

I wish I could help everyone I see struggling.  It kills me to be helpless, especially with my family, but with my friends and strangers as well.  Although it sounds lame and cliche, my heart really does ache when someone needs my help and I can do nothing.

I wish I could become (or know what exactly I need to work on) the woman I'm supposed to be so that I can be a good wife and mother.

Sometimes I wish I was a better person, or different.  There are days where it's hard being yourself, but then I'm glad I'm me, faults and all.  I know I'm not perfect, but I'm trying to become perfect (not in a snooty way).  I know I mess up, but I don't mess up on purpose, and I hope/wish that people know that and can still love me for who I am, not who they/I want me to be.

Day 28-Something that stresses me out

Boys. School. My future. I think the perfect summary is: Life.


I don't get too stressed out over any of it, typically.  Every so often, though, everything piles up and I get a little overwhelmed.  That hasn't really happened a whole lot in college, luckily.  My tear ducts have dried up quite a bit after living in the desert for a while (haha) and I only cried from sheer stress a few times.  Mostly it was due to Italian or Grammar.  


Boys (usually just one, really) stress me out just because I don't know what I'm doing.  Since I didn't date before I was 16, and even then I didn't date, I have no experience and don't know how to flirt with guys I actually like and don't know how to read them at all!  I am glad I waited until I was 16, though.  Don't get me wrong!  I am pretty sure that even if I hadn't waited the results would still be the same.  Some line of kinship could be traced to 99.9% of the guys that were over 6'.  Especially if they were LDS.  So, yeah, that kinda put a damper on things. 


Anyways... Back to stress.  School kills me because at Polk State College, I was the smartest kid.  Well, not the smartest, but one of the top 15 for sure.  Being out at BYU means I am no longer the smartest.  Not even close to being the smartest.  Comparing PSC smart to BYU smart is like comparing a gold fish to a grizzly bear.  Seriously.  And now, (wow this pun is convenient) I am a fish out of water (I am amazing... I just made a double pun although few to none will catch the second one.).


As for my future, I know on broad terms what to expect out of my future.  I want to get married and have  children.  Depending on my ability to be a stay at home mom, I would really love to do that, and possibly still get to do editing from home.  But, unlike boys, I can't just look at the end result and be complacent with it just happening eventually.  I need some sort of control.  I don't want to mess up with something and ruin all of it on accident and I don't want to disappoint anyone along the way.  So it kinda stresses me out.


I guess this is what makes life interesting, though.  You never really know what's going to happen so you get stressed, but the relief that comes when it all works out and you can be happy and confident makes it all worth it.

Day 27-Pets

Since I don't have pictures of all of my pets that I've had, I'll just make a list and post pics when I can :]


1: Muffin.  He was a chocolate lab.  I barely remember him, and I don't even know if that was his real name, I just know that's what I named him.  We only had him like two weeks.  Then my mom gave him to some guy taking a walk down our street.


2: Nameless Hamster.  He/She committed suicide.  Long story.  Ask me if you really wanna know ;]


3: Chickendoodie.  This was my pet parakeet.  It was psychotic and flew into an electrical outlet...


4: Rufus.  He was a beagle.  He was really fat, but cute, and sounded like a walrus when he barked.  He ran away a lot but always came back... Until the last time he ran away...


5: Abby.  She's a toy poodle and my favorite pet by far.  I love her so much even though we no longer have her.  If you don't know what happened to her, there's a really long blog post about it!

6: Sam.  He's a morkie (maltese-yorkie) and completely psychotic.  He's 6 months old and full of energy.  As I write this, he's running around in circles, growling at something, and stops to "attack" and slightly bark at something every so often.  He's cute but kinda annoying sometimes.  At least he's cute!

He's waaaay bigger now and has more brown around his face and gray on his legs and belly, but he's still this cute!

Day 26-A Picture of my Family

I've already posted the only pictures of my entire family together (see Day 5), so I had to do some real digging... 

And apparently I don't have any pictures on my computer with Ashley or Landon... Weird.

Day 25-Music

For today's post, I have to put my iPod on shuffle and put the first ten songs that pop up... So here we go!


1: Be My Escape - Relient K
2: 23 - Jimmy Eat World
3: It's Clear - Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband
4: Bartender - Regina Spektor
5: Super Rad - The Aquabats
6: So Happy Together - The Turtles
7: What is This Feeling? - Wicked
8: Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
9: Why Does it Always Rain on Me? - Travis
10: On the Wing - Owl City


This is a very eclectic mix, if I do say so myself...

Day 24-Something I've Learned

I think the biggest thing I've learned, in just the last 6 months, really, is who I am.  Being out at school has really helped me discover who I am as a person in the world and where I fit in with other people.  I have come to know myself and what I'm ready for as well as what roles I'm ready to play.  I have also learned that I'm not quite as mature as I once thought I was (in terms of marriage and careers).